I always intuitively knew from a young child that my growth here on earth would be big. I chose this path. All of this is what my soul chose. My childhood and teenage years were filled with chaos, abuse, abandonment and confusion. My memories are few but there was a lot of joy in my life. I learned to be very scrappy, resourceful and adaptive at a very young age. My 20’s and 30’s were spent coping but always yearning for peace.
Continuing on my journey, I married my husband at age 30. Childhood pain and trauma partly manifested, along with genetics, into Colon Cancer at age 32. I was very fortunate to have been persistent and caught this early. I had a wonderful colon surgeon who sent me to the Mayo Clinic and I did some amazing nonsurgical biofeedback for recovery. Now at the age of 47, I have two children ages 10 and 12. I have been the main warrior for my oldest who showed Asperger’s traits at a young age and was in early childhood special education. There was that point nine years ago that I was struggling emotionally from my past and I was going to breakthrough or breakdown. I started my yoga practice about eight years ago and at the same time finally went to counseling every week for four years, and still go once every two weeks. I found the perfect spiritual counselor for me. I could not have done counseling without yoga. I also got support and started simplifying and organizing my home and life.
During all of this time my sister found me on social media in 2008 after 30 years. We wrote for a year and finally reconnected. We are soul sisters and have a beautiful relationship. She has been so healing for me on so many levels. I basically surrendered and started surrounding myself with people to support me and help me heal. I joke but it is true that I started my business 2B Well Yoga & Integrative Health for myself and in turn hopefully can help a few more people. I wanted a space that was safe and supportive and had many pathways to heal.
What has manifested for me that has been so amazing? Part of my healing now is learning to speak my truth and seeing my complete authentic self. I have worn rose colored sunglasses for a long time. It was my way of hiding. I am becoming who I was meant to be. A few weeks ago I was putting a rack card together for my nutritional services and the picture that someone had picked out for me from a little while ago was just not me. I was hiding and so I finally gave myself permission to be completely vulnerable, which is another reason I am telling my story.
We all have stories just different details attached. My story and scrappiness served me well in all of these situations but now on the other end of my continual healing it does not serve me the same way. I have learned that I do not have to or want to be in fight or flight and control my situation. I have learned to let go of old beliefs and be in heart forgiveness. I am learning to lead with my heart, ask for guidance, listen and act on what I have heard.
Lessons that I have learned through my journey is to breathe and be mindful. I have learned that I can ask for what I need and I do not have control over the answer. I am learning to listen and act on what I am hearing. Dig deep and find who you truly are without all the beliefs that you have acquired over the years.
Let go to allow others to be on their path and be who they truly are without emotional expectations. It is a much easier way to live. My advice is find a support system, find out who you are and be on your true path. To do this you have to let go of your beliefs, both real and imagined.