One year. Think about the past year, from this date today, rewind 365 days. Where were you? Just REALLY think about that for a minute. Now, fast forward to right now. Where are you now?
One year ago for me, I was in a very unhealthy relationship. A relationship I had been in for many years. One year ago, I was holding onto to painful memories from my childhood. One year ago, I decided that I had dealt with pain long enough. I fell to my knees and begged God for help. I turned to family who wanted to help. Though, until I wanted to help myself, they could only do so much.
One year ago, my uncle welcomed my boys and I into his home. He provided a roof, safety, love and hope. My aunt was my saving grace. She never felt sorry for me. She never let me weep in sorrow. She pushed me, loved me, told me everything I needed to hear and nothing I wanted to hear. Her grace and tough love kept me going.
Looking back on the past 365 days brings me to tears. I can't tell you it was easy. I can't tell you it wasn't scary. I will tell you, as I think about all the hardship I went through, it was some of the darkest times of my life. But, I didn't have time to think about how much it simply sucked at times. I had my boys watching me. I stayed positive and kept moving. I was not going to quit. I had so much support from all around me that wouldn't let me give up.
A year ago if someone were to say to me, "Kimberly, you will have more support from acquaintances and strangers than you could ever imagine", I would have laughed at them. Like many of you reading this, I felt alone. I felt ashamed. I felt embarrassed. Why would people I barely knew want to help me? Support me? Be a shoulder, an ear, and a friend?
Unfortunately, we rarely see people genuinely caring about other people. I feel blessed to have witnessed the love, support, and generosity of people the past year. There were a few people who I just knew would be there for me 100% and those few were the ones who disappeared on me. I am not mad at them. I wonder if they had their own struggles and maybe they feel like I disappeared on them? We have to remember that everyone has a story.
If you are like me, asking for help makes my anxiety level go through the roof. It is like a dagger right into my pride. Asking for help makes me feel weak. This was a tough battle for me to overcome. You cannot get anywhere in life alone. You have to reach out for help at times. Sometimes you have to do it on your own. It is balance you have to find. You shouldn't always depend on other people, that is not healthy but In the same sense, you cannot possibly do everything on your own.
Everyone needs help from time to time. In one year, I was able to move on from an unhealthy marriage. I was given a resource to tell my story at www. 7Billionones.org. The founders of 7 Billion Ones, two beautiful souls, Randy and Shannon, allowed me to share my story and free myself. I broke my silence of childhood sexual abuse and an abusive marriage. In one year, I have made many new friends, some who became family. If you are reading this and you had even a minute to do with my journey over the past year...THANK YOU!!!! I love you and I am forever grateful! In one year, I found happiness and peace. I grew as a person, friend, and as a mother.
Today, right now. Set a goal for yourself to be where you want to be 365 days from now. You cannot use any excuses. You have to dig deep, pray, and yes, ask for help from time to time.
God bless you all!
Be sure to read Kimberly's full story "Torn" below